yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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