How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
