Your tits are I can't wait for
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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