I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
