tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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