haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
