dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
