i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
