watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
