Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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