we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
