I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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