i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
