We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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