Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
