Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Found the puke drawer
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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