I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
