It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
