I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
