Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
