Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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