is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
