we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
