We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
