I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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