I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
