Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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