Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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