alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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