doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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