I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
