So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
