i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
