hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
