I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
