last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
