In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
