I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
