Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
