I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
