Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
