I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
