But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
