Screwed.edu
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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