you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
