Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
