Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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