That's intense
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
