my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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