She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
